


Someone please fucking love Steve.

by Pegggy21



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Infinity War, M/M, Post Infinity War, Steve Rogers Angst, Steve Rogers Feels, bucky turns to dust, it ends kinda hopeful, join me in sufering, steve almost give up, steve rogers can't have nice thing, the russos can suck a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegggy21/pseuds/Pegggy21
Summary: I watched the new trailer and am suffering. I wrote this wile crying, join me in the pain.





	Someone please fucking love Steve.

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Someone please fucking love Steve](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17136116) by [hellolilith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellolilith/pseuds/hellolilith)



Steve knew it was over before it even began. He knew that the hope he had held onto for so long was misplaced. He felt all the light and good in him die in just a few moments. For so long he had fought. He had tried for too long. He could feel the war weariness deep in his bones. He couldn’t make anyone see the truth anymore. In the moment that Bucky dissolved, fell to ash, died, before him Steve felt his soul break. He fell to his knees, hands reaching. His mind supplies the last time he reached like this for Bucky. That time was ice and fear and youthful causes. This time its heat and anger and ancient wars. Steve kneels near Bucky’s remains, hands full of ash. He can taste it. He feels his soul imploding like a black hole. He looked around, seeing but not seeing others turning to ash as well. The black hole in his chest expands. It expands to a size where he cant contain it any longer. His soul leaves his body in a scream. A scream so heartbroken and hopeless he didn’t realize he was making it. He could taste blood. Nothing mattered though. Once again Bucky is gone. Steve is alone to have to deal with the world. To have to fight with these people he tries to care for. They don’t know him like Bucky does- did. Steve stands and walks. He has no direction in mind. None of his surroundings leave an impression on him. Everyone is wrapped up in their own personal grief they don’t see his. The black hole settles near his stomach. He knows his face is dry, even his tears have been consumed by the black hole in his chest. 

Eventually he finds himself at Bucky’s hut. Near Bucky’s goats and sheep. He sits on Bucky’s bed and changes into Bucky’s clothes. Trying to hold onto is smell. Could he have slept peacefully here last night? Could he have just shared sweet kisses with Bucky a few hours ago? He lays on his side staring at the little space Bucky had created for himself. It was simple, clean. Bucky had fought so hard to be himself, to carve a person out of what HYDRA had done to him. Steve knew in his soul that he should have been the one to die. Not Bucky. Bucky had fought so hard to live, Steve had done the opposite. He had thrown himself int he middle of every fight, had used himself as bait, had been so reckless over the years. Not Bucky, never. He was the cautious one, the one to plan. Any risk he took was calculated and planned. Eventually the black hole in his heart erupted and made Steve sleep. His sleep was dreamless and deep, but not refreshing. When he woke his bones felt as fragile as glass.

He found his way to were the rest of the Avengers were gathering. Nat, Clint, Wanda, Thor, Okoye, so few made it out alive. They turned to Steve, they expected him to have a plan. They expected him to be okay. Because he always was. The sudden added weight of their expectations felled him. He fell to his knees, hand flung to the wall. He couldn’t control the sobs that wracked his body. He was too old, and too young for this. He wasn’t equipped. He was just a kid from Brooklyn. A young man in love with someone who keeps getting taken away from him. How could he lead these people, most who are older than him? The burden had never felt this heavy. He felt a hand on his shoulder, another raising his face to theirs. Natasha was crouched near him. Her face a reflection of his own pain. They all came to him, sharing their grief. They shared in the overwhelming weight of what they had to fix. In the black hole of all they had lost. No one had a plan, no one knew where to start. But they had each other. Together they would avenge the losses they had taken. Together they would make Thanos feel the pain they felt in this moment. They were not alone. Steve was not alone.


End file.
